New Job, new Me

So - I got the job. I was offered it on Fri. There will still be an extended transition, but I'm on my way to coming full circle and being an ER Nurse again. I'm thrilled.

I'm also doing a juice fast. I'm on day 9 today and down 11 pounds. I'm feeling pretty good except for the cravings. Those are crazy weird. The brain is such a powerful influence on what we eat and crave. I'm trying to reset my body and my brain and my habits. I'm planning on 60 days. I hope I can do it.

It's been a wonderful weekend. I've had really good social time, which I have needed. It's been sunny. My husband is home. The fruits and veggies are all ripe and good. I love farmer's markets. My kids even snuggled today on the couch. It was a rare, awesome moment.

I wish they were like this all the time. Ethan was playing his DS and Ocean was watching TV. Yet they were snuggled up on the same couch.

Okay well, I'm off to sleep, because this juicing thing is giving me energy during the day, but I hit my wall about an hour ago.

5 days off

You know how you go about life and things are just what they are. Then something changes and you realize just how big of an impact it was having on your life. I have just been off work for the past 5 days and it's been heavenly. I've been relaxed, happy and good. I didn't even think about my co-worker.

I have an opportunity to apply for another job. I'm in knots inside about talking to my boss and this co-worker about it. Crazy nervous. Dealing with this woman makes me crazy. I don't want to be crazy anymore.

I was just advised that they don't have to release me until January and so once again, I'm at their mercy.

I have to go meet with my boss and ask to be released. It's all so lame. I just want to move on.


EDIT: I met with my boss. It went extremely well. I went ahead and applied for a new job this afternoon. They will have to post and fill my current position before I'm released, but at least things are moving to a better place.

100 yr anniversary of discovering Machu Picchu

On July 24th, 1911, Machu Picchu was discovered by Hiram Bingham. He was actually looking for a different ruins nearby. Can you imagine? Stumbling on something like Machu Picchu?! Amazing. We've known about them for 100 years now. They have been around for hundreds more than we knew.

I know this blog has gotten a bit off track, but I have needed to get myself sorted out to move forward.
I am still - 100% - planning to climb this mountain. I will experience this place.

REBOOT!

I am rebooting. Juice fasting. My goal is to do it for 60 days. I just spent the past 5 days eating just fruits and vegetables - whole foods. I had a few nuts and seeds thrown in too. No dairy, No soy, No wheat, No grains, Nothing processes. It's been hard, but good. I'm down 6 pounds and today was day one of my juice fast. I'll let you know how it goes.

Today I'm thankful for:

My husband being home.

This picture just makes me so happy and content. My man with my kidlets. It says it all for me.

I'm also thankful for the ability to buy a juicer and all the fresh veggies and fruit that I can consume. I'm thankful that my husband and I both have work. I feel fortunate.

I'm thankful that I got to sleep in this morning - it felt amazing.

Did I say 6 pounds already?! That's worth being thankful for.

I'm thankful for the fact that as soon as I hit post, I get to go snuggle my man and watch So You Think You Can Dance. Yummy.

Busy and Good Day

Thankful for:

My man is en route!So happy to not have to sleep without him tonight.

My middle boy spent more time outside riding a bike than in front of a screen - MAJOR accomplishment!

I stayed home from work today because ... well, I had a good reason ...

I also found out that I do not have to work Monday, so I'm off til Wednesday! So HAPPY to have that time with my man - it was great timing!!

I have maintained my eating and broken a sweat daily for almost a week now. I'm happy with my progress and am feeling very motivated to get through these hard first several days and onto greener pastures.

Concrete got poured today. Jake worked so hard and I appreciated him greatly. I'm pleased with the little shed's progress.

I love this lady!

My three babies.

Today's Thanks.

In a little over 24 hours - My man comes home.

My dad made good progress on my shed project.

The landscaper came by this afternoon and we finalized all the details and plants. It wont get all installed until September when it starts to cool off, but the clean up starts asap!! Very excited about things getting cleaned up around here.

My lavender is blooming beautifully and there are these cool fuzzy yellow bees and yellow headed bumble bees all buzzing about. I have been gardening right next to them and they are chill. I think I like them. You can see two yellow bees and a yellow headed bumble bee in the picture if you look close.

Ethan got his braces adjusted today. He got a chain across the front four and head gear tightened spacers on the bottom molars for bracketing next week. Basically - He Hurts!! Poor darling - he's being so brave. I'm so proud of him. Ibuprofen can only help so much. It's not going to get much better with the lowers getting brackets soon too. We're buying popcycles tomorrow.

I'm just thankful for my life. There this video going around on FB of a lady who had a baby, got her house foreclosed, was diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband tragically died - all happened within a few months. I have NOTHING to be sad or unhappy about. A little perspective goes a long way.

Today was Fabulous!

I am thankful for:

Getting off work early.

Found out today that the position they are creating for me in the ER was approved.

A friend from work divided out her irises and gave me three bags full to plant at my house!

I was able to dig in the dirt and it felt great.

Healthy food today. I was even able to distract myself from a not healthy temptation.

I made dinner for myself tonight. A Roasted Acorn squash that was stuffed with portobello, onions, garlic,cauliflower, spinach and herbs. It was really pretty good. I filled my house up with smoke because I used wax paper in the oven instead of the called for parchment paper. Lesson learned and giggles at myself completed.


I had a great walk with my friend Shelly after I ate. Thanks so much for making time Shelly! I really enjoyed our walk and your garden is fantastic!

Fresh picked lettuce for my salad. (From Shelly's fantastic garden)

My mom taking the kids to PERC and having a moment.

My feet hurt. Yes, I'm thankful for that. It's good because it means I used them today more than normal. That's awesome.

I'm tired, but I'm going to watch some TV and fold up the laundry I got washed today. Then I will sleep and I will sleep well.

I'm so thankful and happy.

PS - SHELLY - I got the points.... Study... Study... Study It's a long shot, but I have to try.

Digging Deep

Today was busy. I accomplished a lot. My to do list is down to a two sided 4x6 card. That's a bunch of progress!! My husband is crazy in love with me and glad he's with me even after almost 11 years of putting up with my quirks. My kids are happy and good. My mom was released from Cardiology today and all her other follow ups are in place and she's getting better each day. I had my last class of summer term today. I need to take my final still, but I'm otherwise officially now a grad student because I've completed grad school credits. That's exciting. I'm on track for healthy eating - watch out for me to change!

SO - that's all good right?! I'm so glad that this blog makes me look at the positives. I feel a lot less than positive tonight. I don't understand why my brain does that sometimes. REGARDLESS - I'm choosing to go to sleep with all of the day's accomplishments swirling in my brain, because I just summarized them. EPIC WIN!

Thankful for a day off tomorrow

I don't have to work tomorrow.

I do have school, doctor appointments with my mom. Yard work to do. Kids to spend time with. A final to study for. Laundry to do. People to call and email. Bills to pay. Life, you know.

But I don't have to work!! That makes me happy happy happy.

Today I'm Thankful for...

My eldest son - he is simply a gift. I so appreciate his love of me and his ability to share it.

My middle child - he is growing and maturing daily. I love when he hugs me just a moment longer than expected.

My youngest - her independence, how she knows herself and her needs and wants, she is going to be somebody someday. I love how she has chosen a new name with confidence and certainty.

I am thankful for the breezy, awesome curtains I hung in my bedroom today. They make the whole room feel lighter to me.

I am so thankful for my man. He makes every other relationship prior to him insignificant.

I am thankful for friends. Good friends. I am blessed with several.

I am thankful for honest communication.

I am thankful that I still have my health and the ability to enact change in myself.

24 hours

I am thankful for a 24 hour moment.

My kids - all three of them - were occupied with other things. Away at Big Lake summer camp or at camp meeting. My husband was travelling. My mom was busy with her sister.

And me? Well - No one needed me. I think it's the first time I can recall since I became a mother that this was the case. My BFF and I decided to spontaneously run away for 24 hours. We went to Sisters,OR because I needed to pick up two kidlets Friday afternoon at Big Lake.

We stayed in Five Pine Lodge which is these individual cabins scattered all over the property with a little creek right outside our windows. It was so relaxing, quiet and comfortable. Big soaking tub and comfy chairs to chill in. We ate dinner at Black Butte - I think it's the best food I've ever had. It was fabulous. I would drive three hours just to have dinner again. We walked around on the nature trails around the lake and watched the sun set behind the mountains. We practiced grounding and laughing.

The next morning we headed to the spa for spa relaxation. The wandered around Sisters - it's a great little town. Loved it.

It wasn't hard to pick up my kidlets. It was great to see them. It was hard to say goodbye to Cham. Had a lovely dinner with Cham, Trav and the girls before heading home.

It was really hard to come home. This house and all the work and responsibility that lives in it and comes with it. I'm trying to figure out how to bring some of that relaxed Jill home and keep her here.

Swimming and gravity

I went swimming with my daughter. I actually got into a swimming suit in public. This alone should be forever evidence of the love that I have for my child. I was walking in the deeper area and unintentionally touched my stomach. It wasn't hanging where it normally is. Having a different shape was really quite cool and a reminder of what it feels like to not lug around all this extra weight. The walking out of the pool and back into gravity was crazy. It was like I could feel every extra pound re-attaching to my body. I should get into a pool more often - it was really motivating and so relaxing.

I also realized a couple other things. (I'm normally very busy when I swim with my kids, but my youngest didn't really need me at all so I just people watched.) My realizations: as overweight as I am - there are many out there who weigh more than I do. My point in this is that I shouldn't be so anxious about going swimming. I should find some confidence. I also noticed that augmented breasts are REALLY obvious in a bikini. I could go for a breast lift at some point and I'm certainly not opposed to a tummy tuck, but I'll keep my own breasts thanks (small or not small - either is fine - I've had both).

I had an amazing time with my kidlet. I'm so glad I chose to go and put on the suit. I'll try to remember the things I realized and go again sometime soon.

Dairy and Gluten Free

So - I've successfully been caffeine free for weeks now. I have to admit I still miss the Diet Pepsi, but I really like how I feel caffeine free. I sleep more normal, I don't have the highs and lows associated with caffeine for me. It's good and it feels good.

Next: Dairy and Gluten.

This one will take longer to accomplish I'm sure. What I do know is that dairy messes with my insides. I also know that gluten often goes hand in hand with a diary intolerance. I don't think I have Celiac disease, but about 30% of people in the US have an intolerance to gluten. I'm going to check it out. The best way is to eliminate it and see how I feel. So - here I go.

Elleri and I shopped gluten free this afternoon - it was really fun to teach my kidlet about healthy choices. Now to live it. Today was okay - I got too hungry at one point, but I have all sorts of healthy gluten and dairy free choices now to choose from. That's what I get for shopping hungry.

My mom is sick. It sucks. I don't enjoy this phase. I want the old her back. It's not happening. Here's what I can do tho: I can be healthy and make good choices. I can prevent or at least delay my own illness and death for my husband and kids.

Wikipedia says that obesity is one of the leading preventable causes of death worldwide. On average, obesity reduces life expectancy by six to seven years: a BMI of 30–35 reduces life expectancy by two to four years, while severe obesity (BMI > 40) reduces life expectancy by 10 years.

Yes, My BMI falls in that last category. 10 years I stand to lose. 10 years to not know my kids and my someday grandkids. 10 years to not be with my husband. I need to lose 50% of my BMI to be in a healthy range.

I'm not sure how I am going to accomplish this, but I do know that I don't back down from much of anything in my life. I'm stubborn and persistent in most areas. I plan to turn these personality traits at my health. I might ... in fact, I know I will... fail a few more times. I'm going to keep at it. I'm going to be healthy.