Tuesday - Martes

Well - Tuesday was interesting. Crazy busy. So crazy busy that I am just now blogging about it.

Good things about Tuesday:

1. I went to school, my first day of class. I told my kids that I went to my own class and they didn't believe me. Yet, it's true. I've started grad school. I'm going to WSU and my official course of study is the Family Nurse Practitioner program. I will end up with my Doctorate of Nursing Practice (DNP) with my Master's degree along the way. It's a crazy undertaking at this point in life but every door has opened to indicate that now is the right time. I believe in doors, and I'm walking through it. Check out this text book though! It's HUGE. Jake was quite impressed because the pages are small print too. I have 180 of those small print pages to read for my first week.



2. I'm thankful for my job. My work is allowing me to work flexible hours so that I can morph my work around a class schedule. I'm very fortunate that I can go to school while maintaining my job. I went to work after I finished my class. It worked out just fine.

3. My husband is so proud of me for getting accepted to the program and for undertaking more schooling. He surprised me with a pair of earrings for congratulations. They are being made and I get to pick them up on Friday. I haven't worn earrings in years, but I will wear these. I'm very excited and pleased. It's one of the few times he has completely surprised me. He's such an amazing husband.

Well, that was Tuesday. It feels like I'm starting on a journey that will help me become who I choose to be. It was a good day.

Monday - Lunes - Begining of the work week.

Three good things for today.

1. The best thing about today is some test results. My Mom's doctors have been fairly convinced that her cancer is a genetic mutation type. This would mean that I would likely have the gene. IF I did, I would have to have all my girly parts removed preventably because they all fall into the same genetic mutation together. So, I have been anxiously awaiting the test results. We got them today - no genetic mutation!! I'm so happy. It doesn't change anything for my Mom's outcome, but it means a whole lot to me and my kiddos. Good, good news.

2. Today was crazy busy. I've been going Mach 10 since I woke up at 5am. I got most everything done however. As tired as I feel right now, I'm grateful that I was able to get so much accomplished. That always feels good.

3. I was in a bind today. I had Jacob with me because he had an orthodontic appointment in Portland. The love of my life is travelling. I was meeting both of my parents for my Mom's Dr Appointment. None of the normal 'be home when the kids get home' people were home. My kids were getting off the bus and there was no one to meet them. No one was home. That is a very rare occurrence around here. There is almost always someone about. A was in a fix. A friend stepped up and offered to meet my kid's bus. She doesn't even have kids the ages of my little ones, but stepped in to fill the gap anyways. Perhaps a small thing for her to do, but for me - it made all the difference in my day. I felt loved and cared about. I'm so thankful for all my friends. They are such quality, amazing, wonderful people. I feel blessed beyond measure to have each of them in my life.

Mother's Day 2011

Sunday - Mother's Day - Domingo

Today has been fabulous! I slept in a bit, the kids trying to be ever so quiet. I half wonder if their quiet was why I didn't sleep longer. I'm in the habit of always investigating quiet children. Grins.

Positives for today:

1. I still have my mother to celebrate today. We don't know if we will have another year with her or not, but TODAY, I got to hug her today and tell her that I love her so. She's an amazing woman and I'm so thankful that she lives so close and is so involved in my and my families life. We're all better for her presence.

2. My amazing husband took me out to breakfast and then chauffeured me to get a manicure and pedicure. There's something especially luxurious about being driven to be pampered. Best husband ever!

3. My kids gave me the sweetest home made cards. All three of them. Ethan's was my favorite because when I read it out loud, he got very shy and admitted that he didn't know what it said. He had just copied it off the board. It said: 'Here's a gift for Mother's Day. I'll try my best in every way, but when you get upset with me, relax and have a pot of tea. Love Ethan.' It was a cute colored teapot shaped card with a bag of tea in it. Ethan's response was the best.

4. My toes are RED and I like them.

5. I did well at just loving and living in each moment. Savoring the preciousness. It felt amazing.

Looking Forward

Well - I find my own blog to be a total downer. I have no further interest in writing any more about my failings or my ineptitude. SO - I am going to write about accomplishments and/or things I like about myself or my day. POSITIVE things only.

Perhaps by focusing on the good things, the things I can grab onto and be pleased about, I will be able to become the person I truly want to be.

Three things a day. I'm sure they will usually be small, inconsequential things, but you never know, perhaps at some point, something bigger might happen too.

My life over the next couple years will definitely be different than I had anticipated, but perhaps that alone will be the catalyst for the changes that I want to make in myself and my life.

Motivation and Follow Through

I seriously seem to lack these skills in the areas of healthy eating and weight loss. I'm open to any ideas on how to get some. I wish I could buy it. I'm motivated to work every day, spend time with my kids, do my laundry, buy groceries. I get through tasks every day that I don't particularly want to do, but I find the motivation somewhere to get them done. Why can't I find the motivation to get healthy? I want to be able to be who I want to be. I want. I want. I want.... yet I don't. Sigh.

My house has been a busy place these past few weeks. My Auntie came to visit my mom. My mom has been living at my place since my dad has pneumonia. My eldest child has been off with his school and has come home sick. I'm tired. I'm emotionally worn out.

I am looking forward to the kids bedtime. I'm looking forward to snuggling and reading with my man. I'm looking forward to a down weekend. I'm going to take the weekend and relax. Sleep a bit. I'm looking forward to getting my ass in gear and being the me I want to be. I'm looking forward to the sunshine. Til Monday!

New Week

It's Sunday night. The house is quiet. The kids are in bed, my husband is doing his thing. I'm watching an episode of Survivor and contemplating my coming week.

My cravings are still well under control. I even had some sugar this weekend and am doing fine. I'm so very happy about that. I've lost about 6 pounds this past week. I'm sure that the coming weeks will not be so generous, but I'm pleased to have some progress.

My work schedule will be changing this coming week. I will be working every day, shorter hours. I'm trying to wrap my head around that. I need to make it a positive and use the consistency to help me get some habits formed with my exercise. It also means that I wont have to take a lunch break at work so I can do all my eating at home. I like that idea a lot. I plan to keep up my healthy eating this week. I also plan to increase my water intake. I plan to be a better person.

I was reminded today that good intentions don't result in action. There can be permanent results to not acting on intentions. Intent is not enough. I have to do.

I have to admit, a simple life, uncomplicated, living off the land, simple, hard work, but simple, is very appealing to me today. I hate making mistakes. I hate letting those I love down. I hate letting myself down. Learn from it. That's what I teach my kids. It's only a bad mistake if you don't choose to learn from it.

A Cup of Tea

It's Friday. My mom is at the beach for the week with her sister. Jacob is off on his school trip. Ethan is playing a video game on the Wii. Elleri is playing with toys next to him and intermittently reading the text from the game to him. Their collaboration is very sweet. Steven is happy and looking forward to the weekend.

I'm sitting here enjoying a cup of tea. My new Chai blend I picked up at Teavana. It's amazingly good. I'm looking at Shelly's picture of a single tulip. It's stunning and simple and beautiful. I plan to paint it. I'm contemplating how to paint a waterdrop. I'm not a painter, not an artist of any kind. I am going to attempt to paint a 40x60 canvas however.

Part of this journey is to create a new me. I haven't liked the 'me' I've been these past 9 years or so in many ways. I think the stresses of little kids and full time work and moving several times resulted in me just coping. I don't feel like I've grown or pushed or expanded my knowledge or skills. My husband is always thinking, learning, processing and pushing himself to be better or smarter. He's working on an anti-resume of things he doesn't yet know or can't yet do. All for the purpose of expanding and bettering himself. My friend Shelly made herself a list - to identify dreams, goals and intents. I think the idea of the anti-resume is interesting and I might undertake that at some point but for now I think I'll share a couple list items. I'm only going to consider a few because I don't want to discourage myself.

Dreams/Goals/Intents

1. Weight loss and better health - I am finally feeling on track. I'm down 6 pounds so far this week. No real cravings. I feel so great. It's amazing how fast the weight is coming off. It's almost as if my body is excited to get to it finally.

2. Travel - I need more trips in my life, even domestic. Of Course - Machu Picchu being the ultimate adventure for me. A summer in Italy or Spain a close second.

3. Spanish - I am going to get started on finishing up my second bachelor's degree in Spanish. I ultimately plan to get my Masters in Spanish. Why? Simply because I want to. There is no other reason and I've finally decided that wanting it is enough reason to do it.

4. Garden - See how far into the winter I can garden. I am hopeful for a big and productive summer garden this year and I really want to learn to cold frame and produce year round. I'm also trying to decide where the best place for my garden to live is at my new property. Perhaps I'll plant 3 test gardens this year and see which grows best. Hmm. That's a new and possibly good idea. I'll ponder that some more.

5. Exercise and outdoor activities - I want regular exercise to be a habit. I also want our family to do outdoor things for family time. Kayaking, rafting, walking, biking, whatever. This one will take time for all of us to become accustomed to.

6. Do something outside my box - This is going to be a painting I think. I want to stretch myself. Try something new.

This is it. My imagined tulip painting. Soon. Thanks for the inspiration Shelly!

My quiet moment is past, I now have a VERY loud and full house. I am watching friend's kids while they are out for the evening. Have a great weekend!