I went swimming with my daughter. I actually got into a swimming suit in public. This alone should be forever evidence of the love that I have for my child. I was walking in the deeper area and unintentionally touched my stomach. It wasn't hanging where it normally is. Having a different shape was really quite cool and a reminder of what it feels like to not lug around all this extra weight. The walking out of the pool and back into gravity was crazy. It was like I could feel every extra pound re-attaching to my body. I should get into a pool more often - it was really motivating and so relaxing.
I also realized a couple other things. (I'm normally very busy when I swim with my kids, but my youngest didn't really need me at all so I just people watched.) My realizations: as overweight as I am - there are many out there who weigh more than I do. My point in this is that I shouldn't be so anxious about going swimming. I should find some confidence. I also noticed that augmented breasts are REALLY obvious in a bikini. I could go for a breast lift at some point and I'm certainly not opposed to a tummy tuck, but I'll keep my own breasts thanks (small or not small - either is fine - I've had both).
I had an amazing time with my kidlet. I'm so glad I chose to go and put on the suit. I'll try to remember the things I realized and go again sometime soon.